What’s Left of Me Has Never Felt So Healthy, or So Loved


or, I Married a Trophy Wife


The phrase “Trophy Wife” is usually used by women to defame men and denigrate women.  I’ve used the word ‘Trophy’ differently, to denote superior qualities both in love and character.

In love, we rarely go to bed without forgiving each other our daily transgressions.  She calls me, in private, her pumpkin.  I am her senior, she lets me reminisce about my past with what I believe is unfeigned interest.  I’m able to dress and bathe myself and even walk very short distances with a ski pole.  But, due to the paralysis of my right hand and my very limited vision, I am unable to cook or to take care of myself in other ways.  Margaret performs all these functions with efficiency, grace, and good humour.  Regarding nutrition, I have eaten more fruits and vegetables than anytime since the start of my six year long widowerhood.

Regarding character, I married into a family of orthodox Hungarian Roman Catholics. Nothing needs to be said more on that point, other than Margaret has shown the identical degree of tolerance that my mother had when she married my father, who, if he believed in anything, believed in the four stroke internal combustion engine.  I am an atheist, but not an evangelical atheist, and I am sure that Margaret would agree that I am a very spiritual man.  I can be moved to tears by poetry, by prose, by a wide variety of classical music, and by films.

Like my father, I too have married a Trophy Wife.  And similarly I too married a woman with different political convictions, but one with an up-to-date tolerance of societal differences.

In short, despite my disabilities, I count myself a happy and very fortunate man.

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